I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
