It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
