So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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