Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
