SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize