All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
