Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
