I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
