'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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