A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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