dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
