This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
