Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
