going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Randomize
