If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
