i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
