do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
