oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize