Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
They have beer where we have blood.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
