singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This is my gift to your gina
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize