only if we run a train.
done.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
