Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
