this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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