what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize