sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize