I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
