I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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