I'm laying in your front yard are you home
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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