Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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