what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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