You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
