I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
