Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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