I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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