Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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