Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
