and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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