im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
