quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
