I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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