even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
