WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
