marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
