Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
