he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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