1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
