I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
