It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
