Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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