apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
