Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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