you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
