Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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