Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just googled if crying burns calories
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
