have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
