just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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