I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
