you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
